The Sesame Street Sniper
by VeryTalldude
Summary: Hilarious Jim Hanson Crossover in which a man tries to solve a murder on sesame st....Mild Violence parental discretion is advised DISCLAIMER:I dont Own Jim Hansen Inc. or anything else mentioned...all


The Sesame Street Sniper  
It was my first case. I had just been transferred to the homicide division, and I got the call to clean up an apparent assassination on Sesame Street. My partner and I were in the vicinity, and decided to answer the call. As we arrived a hysterical pig greeted us! I had heard that creepy things happened on this street, but I was not prepared for what I would have to deal with. The pig just kept screaming, "I didn't know he'd react like this!" She believed her estranged husband Kermit had shot her current boyfriend, Elmo. It was possibly the strangest thing I had ever seen; there was stuffing all over the room. Elmo hadn't died instantly. He ran around for a few seconds. I could have dealt with blood and gore, but the stuffing mess was kind of hard to believe. After a close examination I found where the bullet had entered the room. There was a large window leading out to the fire escape. I noticed that a light was on in the abandoned warehouse across the street. That was our murderer's vantage point.  
A gunshot rang out from the streets below. I rushed downstairs to find Miss Piggie holding my partners gun firing at the window I had noticed before. "Die you stupid frog!!" she exclaimed as she fired three more shots toward the warehouse. I rushed forward and tackled her to the ground before she got off another shot. "NO! I gave that frog everything, and what do I get in return? Stuffing strewn about my new bedroom suit!" she cried as we shoved her into the squad car. A silenced shot came from the adjacent warehouse as the squad car pulled away. I heard glass breaking, and tires squealing. The sniper had killed the pig!  
I sat on the couch in my office for an hour thinking about what had just happened. My partner was apparently used to this kind of action because the scene hadn't fazed him at all. He was busy working on his report. "Bill," I said to him, "I need to know what you think about this case." I was reaching for any other perspective trying to see if I was the only one who found this odd.  
"Well, this is pretty cut and dried if you ask me. It's just a jealous husband with a vengeful temper." He replied.  
"You don't find the whole puppet thing just a tad odd?" I asked; still searching for a fragment of sanity  
"No, I've seen some odd things. You should have been here in'95 when we busted Barney in a prostitution ring." He answer was more than a little disturbing. I had to find out more.  
"So you mean to tell me that all of the children show characters live in this town?" I asked.  
"Yeah, most of them are pretty crooked, too." He replied in a calm matter.  
"Yeah right, next you're going to tell me that the Teletubbies have a chop shop in Mr. Roger's neighborhood." I commented jokingly.  
"Maybe in the old days, those boys have formed an elaborate crime family." He explained the entire gruesome background of corrupted puppets, and distorted heroes.  
I walked through the precinct; partly to learn my new surroundings, but mostly to introduce myself to the new world. "Mary, I'm telling you that you can't file a restraining order against the lamb." I overheard the officer at the front desk tell a distressed looking young woman.  
"He follows me everywhere I go. He followed me to school one day! Everyone laughed at me, and I was so embarrassed." That was the end of it! I had to get back to the place I knew. I jumped in my car and sped away as fast as I could. I soon found myself lost on a dark swamp road. It was very foggy. I couldn't see anything for a while. Then it happened; I hit something. I stopped the car to look for whatever I had hit. I first came upon a warped sniper rifle lying behind my car. A few feet back I found Kermit. I thought I had killed him, but there was a bullet hole in the small of his back. This was going to be a little more complicated than I thought.  
I had to revisit the scene. I walked into the room where the shots had originated. It was empty. The dark clammy room wasn't exactly where I wanted to spend my night. I knew that I had to check everything in the room. I switched on my flashlight and ran in quickly over the room. A trash can, drapes blowing in the wind.nothing special. I turned and walked towards the door. As I was walking toward the door I heard the sound of clanking metal. I drew my gun, and turned just in time to see a green monster with a rifle firing at me. Without much thought I fired toward him. I was wounded, but I knew I had gotten away with much less than him. I had killed the Grouch.  
When the scene was examined, a series of letters were found that explained the entire ordeal. Kermit had hired the Grouch to kill Elmo and Miss Piggie, but he refused to pay. The Grouch killed him and attempted to frame him with the crime. It was over. I had solved my first case, and I now have to scars to show for it. As I lay in the hospital bed, I realized that things could now return to normal. Or so I thought. 


End file.
